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In a stunning turn of events, four misfit former members of the WCGOP Executive Committee gathered in a treehouse for what was assumed to be an innocent game of “office.” To everyone’s surprise, the playdate quickly transformed into a merciless, toddler-style battle royale for the coveted title of “Chairman-for-a-Day.”

Adopted at their exclusive juice box and cookie “meeting” on June 13, 2023, the Washing-Tonka County Mini GOP’s latest resolution spiraled into a frenzy of finger-pointing, name-calling, and, of course, the formation of an Investigative Committee. Led by the mischievous John Ford, the ragtag team of co-conspirators—Gale Kane, Earl Sears, and Quinn Schipper—crafted what could only be described as an organizational masterpiece on green construction paper with red crayon.

Unleashing accusations of “Daddy, Juli failed to function!” Quinn waved around his masterpiece, attempting to present their report and recommendation at the next Executive Committee (or was it naptime?). As the inaudible screaming erupted, the once vibrant crayon lines smudged into a visual jumble that would rival the world’s greatest works of Mordernism.

“You can’t fire me, because I fired you first!” shouted little Earl, as he struggled to maintain control of his toddler executive empire.

Tensions continued to rise in the treehouse, with Gale protesting, “My nonsensical title is better than your nonsensical title!” while John Ford pretended to smash the gavel that his dog had already chewed up in the backyard.

Finally, the ruckus reached a fever pitch, causing Daddy to step in and remind the miniature politicians that playtime was over and homework awaited. Each one was chastised and sent to the doghouse (or in this case, playhouse) for a timeout and to reflect on their behavior.

This shocking display of amateur political antics left the Big Kid GOP shaking their heads in disbelief, wondering if their future party would ever graduate from finger painting to responsible policymaking when they all grow up. Only time will tell.

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Bart Willbee

Bart Willbee, a native of Bartlesville, Oklahoma, Editor-in-Chief of Bartlesville Bee, a satire website.

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