Bartlesville, Oklahoma – June 29, 2023
In a surprising twist of fate, or perhaps because the universe has a mischievous sense of humor, Bartlesville Bee, Oklahoma’s most unapologetic satire newspaper, is thrilled to announce the newest member of our team. The debonair Frenchman, Dandy Dousset (Pronounced Doo-seh), has joined our ranks as a photojournalist. That’s right, folks! The man who chose Bartlesville over the Eiffel Tower, fine wine, and a plethora of French bakeries. Why, you ask? Because nothing screams high-profile photography quite like a downtown Bartlesville sunset over Doenges Memorial Stadium!
For those who’ve been wondering how on earth Dandy Dousset, our newest photojournalist, ended up swapping the city of love for the city of Bartlesville, we’ve got a story that’s even more peculiar than his love for Oklahoma’s shrubbery.
You see, our very own Bart(that’s me!), founder of the Bartlesville Bee, happened to be sauntering through the wild nightlife of Paris. Who knew? Apparently, being the reigning champ of satire news in Bartlesville has its international perks. It was during one of these explorations that he met Dandy, who was on a quest for capturing the absurdity of Parisian nightlife.
Bart, fascinated by Dandy’s quick wit and the relentless pursuit of unconventional stories, began weaving tales about the wild shindigs hosted by the Hillcrest Club in Bartlesville. He spoke of lavish parties where the townsfolk traded their cowboy boots for tuxedos, and twangs for exaggerated French accents. Parties where the cornbread was replaced with croissants and the traditional ‘yee-haw’ gave way to ‘oh là là’.
Enthralled by the hilariously bizarre juxtaposition, Dandy decided right then and there, over a glass of French champagne, to trade his Parisian nightlife for the rustic charm of Bartlesville. We can confirm that Dandy’s first line was, “It is settled. The Eiffel Tower has nothing on Price Tower.”
So there you have it, folks, the serendipitous encounter that led Dandy Dousset from the city of lights to the land of the Bartlesville Bee. We are excited about the French twist Dandy is sure to bring to our pages and our parties. Get ready, Bartlesville, for an infusion of savoir-faire like you’ve never seen before. Bienvenue, Dandy!
Dandy, a product of École Normale Supérieure in Paris, and the prestigious University of Genova in Switzerland, specializes in capturing the absurd in the everyday. He migrated to Bartlesville not for the captivating skyline or our world-famous shrubbery, but for the sole purpose of documenting what he calls the “birthplace of GOP reformation”. The man’s got a wild sense of humor, or a serious misunderstanding of the term “vacation hotspot.”
The Bee has been informed, confidentially, that Dandy is currently on the market for a “Mandy”. Ladies, prepare yourselves! He loves long walks in Johnstone Park, espresso at Painted Horse, and is known to spontaneously break into French serenades.
But love is not Dandy’s only conquest in Bartlesville. With an insatiable appetite for adventure, he has vowed to outshine the Bartlesville Enterprise Examiner (BEE, The Vintage Buzz, a fervent fanbase of grumpy old liberals and RINOs alike!) with stories that are not only cooler, but also as unconventional as his relocation choices. We’re talking about tales of daring and determination, like the epic saga of that traffic light that always stays red for too long on Frank Phillips Blvd, or the underground squirrel population plotting to overrun Bartlesville’s city park.
With high hopes, Dandy is also excited about joining the Hillcrest Club, known for its ostentatious French-style parties. While some may say these soirées are only myths, Dandy believes otherwise. He assures us that he’ll fit right in, and if not, he’s prepared to teach us the correct pronunciation of ‘hors d’oeuvres’ and the proper way to sip a Cabernet Sauvignon.
So, Bartlesville, let’s welcome Dandy Dousset, the Parisian who traded baguettes for Bartlesville’s biscuits, GOP for GOP reformation, and the Eiffel Tower for the Price Tower. Bienvenue, Dandy!
Dandy can be reached at dandy.dousset@bartlesvillebee.com
The Bartlesville Bee continues its commitment to delivering hilariously absurd stories while making sure your laughter lines run deeper than the Caney River.
About The Bartlesville Bee
The Bartlesville Bee is Bartlesville’s premier source of satire news. Committed to making Bartlesville the most entertained city in Oklahoma, the Bee stings the community with the most uproarious stories, sprinkled with humor, wit, and truth.
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