Bartlesville, OK
September 06, 2023
By Bart Willbee
Failed Bartlesville Attorney Turned Satire Writer Gets It All Wrong, Democrats Cheer, As He Fails
Kimball “Kim” Mannekane, known for his stunning failures as both the city attorney and as a 40-year-old still getting paddled by his dad’s wooden spoon, has now set his sights on a new career—satire writing. His latest piece for the Bartlesville Examiner Enterprise (BEE) left the entire town scratching their heads, unsure if they were reading satire or an alternate universe where the Jacobins joined forces with the French Revolution under the shadow of Charles Dickens’ ghost.
“Poppycock!” exclaimed Soby F. Mannekane, self-proclaimed patriarch of Bartlesville, after reading his son’s latest work. “You failed as an attorney and you failed as a satire writer, you good for nothing piece of poppycock!”
Kim’s story, a bizarre blend of Dickensian drama, French Revolution characters, and some confused notion of Jacobins culture, is already a smash hit among local Democrats. “We couldn’t have crafted a better piece to ridicule him if we’d tried,” said Debbie Watson, chairperson of the Bartlesville Democrats. “We’re considering making him an honorary Democrat for the week. He’s done more for our cause than years of campaign ads ever could.”
“I was genuinely confused,” admitted Professor Harold Smith, a local history buff. “Kim not only fails to understand the basics of the French Revolution, but he also seems to think that Jacobins have something to do with it? And where does Dickens come in? It’s like making a movie where the Founding Fathers are led by William Wallace while quoting ‘Romeo and Juliet.'”
Kim’s misguided satire also includes a Committee on Public Safety led by a character named Madame Defarge, who is somehow both against and for governmental authority. She’s assisted by a character named ‘Vengeance,’ presumably a figment of Kim’s confused historical imagination, who knits a tapestry of conspiracy theories. “I don’t think Kim understands what the word ‘satire’ means,” said his editor at BEE, “but we publish him anyway because it’s the best laugh we’ve had in years.”
The article, which also lambasts both the Republicans and the Democrats for their lack of understanding of grassroots political movements, has left readers baffled. “It’s the most entertaining form of nonsense,” said Watson, “one that makes you wonder if he’s a political genius crafting multi-layered satire, or just incredibly uninformed. We’re going with the latter.”
Kim’s mother, Mrs. Mannekane, who secured this latest job for him, said, “My son may not understand the French Revolution or Charles Dickens, but he sure knows how to unite a town—even if it’s in collective bewilderment.”
As Kim continues to churn out what can only be described as alternative historical satire, the residents of Bartlesville are left wondering: What’s next? A piece confusing the Civil War with the War of the Roses, featuring Abraham Lincoln as a Shakespearean hero? Given his track record, it’s not too far-fetched.
“Whatever it is, we can’t wait to read it,” said Watson. “And by ‘read,’ I mean laugh until we cry.”
Dandy Dousset, a French native and journalist at the Bartlesville Bee, could hardly hold back his laughter (and tears) after reading Kimball “Kim” Mannekane’s piece in the Bartlesville Examiner Enterprise. “This article is a historical travesty!” Dousset exclaimed. “As a Frenchman, I can’t decide whether to be amused or offended that Kim managed to bungle the French Revolution, Jacobins, and Charles Dickens all in one go. C’est incroyable!”
Dousset, who has navigated the challenges of satire writing with more finesse, was all too eager to recount his first encounter with Kim. “Mais oui, the infamous Kim Mannekane,” he said, his eyes twinkling with a mixture of mischief and disdain. “He came to interview at the Bartlesville Bee, and let’s just say, his attempt at satire was so disastrous that it was dismissed within seconds. I mean, I know satire isn’t for everyone, but that was a masterclass in how not to do it.”
“It’s an art, you see,” Dousset continued, “Not something you can just jump into because your other careers have failed.”
Soby F. Mannekane with his collection of woodenspoons in his basement where he “treats” Kim for his ailments
About The Bartlesville Bee
The Bartlesville Bee is Bartlesville’s premier source of satire news. Committed to making Bartlesville the most entertained city in Oklahoma, the Bee stings the community with the most uproarious stories, sprinkled with humor, wit, and truth.
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