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WCGOPOK’s “Right Wing” Potluck Throws ROCPPRSCSRSWC+ Off Balance—They Show Up with “Left Wings”

Bartlesville, OK

Sep 08, 2023
By Bart Willbee

In a comedic twist of events, the Washington County GOP of Oklahoma (WCGOPOK) announced plans for a “Right Wing” potluck meeting that led to unexpected culinary and ideological chaos. Local Democrats, who belong to the long-named opposition party of Rock Paper Scissors+ or ROCPPRSCSRSWC+—a name so inclusive it includes even obscure hand gestures—decided to counter the event in their own unique way.

Adding another layer of hilarity to the proceedings, Pepe Beffefefe showed up with his now-famous margarita stand. Despite having a history of attending these politically charged events and profiting off the attendees, Beffefefe managed to sell a staggering $1,800 worth of margaritas—mainly to gullible ROCPPRSCSRSWC+ members. “Ah, the taste of bipartisanship,” Beffefefe chuckled as he counted his earnings.

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A happy Beffefefe is a Peppy Beffefefe

However, ROCPPRSCSRSWC+ members received the announcement with alarm. Mistaking the wing-themed event for a grand declaration of political superiority, they swung into action. “It’s just like them to marginalize the left-wing community,” said Queen Schippy, the administrator of ROCPPRSCSRSWC+. “We can’t let the chickens in this nation feel left out. They also have a left wing, and it deserves representation!”

The ROCPPRSCSRSWC+ decided to place a massive order from Buffalo Wild Wings (BWW) for exclusively left-wing chicken wings—no small feat since chickens are bipartisan animals with an equal number of right and left wings. It took a team of zoologists and political science majors weeks to ensure that only the most progressive of poultry would be represented.

“We called BWW and demanded they give us only the left wings of their chickens. We didn’t care if it led to a nationwide wing imbalance,” Queen Schippy added.

On the day of the potluck, WCGOPOK members arrived, excited to try an array of “right-wing” delights, from “Libertarian Lemon Pepper” to “Constitutional Buffalo.” Their enthusiasm was palpable.

Soon after, a caravan of Priuses pulled up, each packed to the brim with ROCPPRSCSRSWC+ members and their politically correct left-wing chicken wings. They proudly walked into the hall, carrying banners that read, “Don’t Wing-shame Chickens” and “All Wings Matter.”

“Imagine our surprise,” said Harry Curry, the chair of WCGOPOK, “when the other side showed up and started laying out trays of left-wing-only chicken. We were so moved by their commitment to poultry bipartisanship that we decided to put all the wings—right and left—together.”

In a twist of what originally appeared to be unity, both WCGOPOK and ROCPPRSCSRSWC+ members found themselves standing before a grand buffet of mingled right and left chicken wings. But the olive branch was short-lived; ROCPPRSCSRSWC+ attendees ceremoniously grabbed one wing from each side, but only consumed the left wings. As they wiped their mouths and discarded the untouched right wings, they declared, “We reject grassroots efforts to convince us that the right-wing chicken is a good chicken.”

It was a moment that left the room half-astonished and half-amused, but entirely uncertain whether to laugh or to sigh. The chicken wings, meanwhile, remained delicious but ideologically divided.

“We might not agree on tax policy or healthcare,” said Harry Curry, “but today taught us that when it comes to chicken wings, we’re still a nation divided.”

As for the chickens, reports indicate they remain apolitical but are now demanding representation in Congress for their “underwing” community.

About The Bartlesville Bee

The Bartlesville Bee is Bartlesville’s premier source of satire news. Committed to making Bartlesville the most entertained city in Oklahoma, the Bee stings the community with the most uproarious stories, sprinkled with humor, wit, and truth.

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Bart Willbee

Bart Willbee, a native of Bartlesville, Oklahoma, Editor-in-Chief of Bartlesville Bee, a satire website.

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