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June 19, 2023

After leaving an Executive Committee meeting in a huff, Alexander Johnson was spotted ordering coffee at Jude’s House of Java.

A bit of a ruckus arose over his order, however. All eyes began turning his way as Johnson was overheard raising his voice. “Barista, I’m not stepping aside until you restate my order in the affirmative in some way I can’t specify myself!”

Confused, the barista, who requested anonymity for fear of retribution, replied, “Sir, if you will just restate your order more clearly, I will be happy to get it going for you.”

In rising voice Johnson asserted heatedly, “I refuse to restate my order! You repeated my order in the negative. My order therefore is out of order and cannot be restated!”

Bewildered, the barista looked helplessly to her manager and other customers in line for clarification of this unusual turn of events. But to her surprise, Johnson tore off his dual, plus-sized name tags, tossed them contemptuously on the counter, and stormed out of the coffee shop without his Iced Frappuccino!

In line behind Johnson were State Senator Julie Daniels and State Representative John Kane. To everyone’s amazement, Senator Daniels wordlessly tore off her own name tag and stormed out behind Johnson!

“When the barista was going to make a motion to have Alexander Johnson removed from the ordering line for his dilatory ordering method, I couldn’t stand by for that.” State Sen. Julie Daniels said. “Then, when [Alexander] announced he would not restate his order, and he would leave on his own, I and Representative Kane decided to go ahead and step out as well.”

State Rep. Kane, who until then had been absorbed with reading the coffee menu on the wall, lips moving silently as he read, glanced around suddenly to notice Johnson and Daniels leaving. Realizing what was going on, Rep. Kane raised his cowboy hat in the air and shouted, “I have the right experience at the right time,” and scurried out behind Johnson and Daniels.

Customers also in line at the counter regarded each other in confusion. “I have no idea what Kane meant by that,” remarked one who declined to be identified. “I’m not at all sure what ‘Right Experience, Right Time’ has to do with ordering that Pumpkin-Spice Latte!”

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Bart Willbee

Bart Willbee, a native of Bartlesville, Oklahoma, Editor-in-Chief of Bartlesville Bee, a satire website.

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